America, Who Am I To

I left my country for Ocala
brought by my mother who loved to bet.
America, I’m from nowhere who am I to love you?
America, I got nothing left to offer you,
And what can I do when I'm feeling this way?
Grasping to understand, I drive away from the city
This place here that made me into the bad wife that I am
Who’s taking it all
Promising green mountains but riding on billionaire’s jet planes.

I left my city for you
But fell in love with Ethan, so why should I be unhappy? I’m good at tending to things, despite my upbringing
I can raise your mountains.
America, I can see that you love me
Even though I’m pathetic, but so are you
Daughter to no one, table for one.
So why did I marry?
Beauty.
No great secret
I married for his beauty
As I would again because beauty convinces.

America, I know I’m bad, but I have faith in people. I had faith in you
And your worked hands that gave me existence
But we allowed doubt to creep in

And before I knew it, Ethan is across the table telling me he lost faith
How it’s not working
Now we are asking friends to take us in

For a few nights,
I’m sick of this, can I come home now?

Im desperate for faith
I bought an American flag
When I took it home
I looked at the stitched stripes all 3x5
and wondered if the hand who makes
Believes in its creation.
Another example is standing for the national anthem. Do not miss my examples of play
You see, I have no mother

And you do
A continental shelf
A tectonic where you came from
And I?
In accordance with faith, I started going to the rodeo
To see how nature does with man
Faith to hold on to
And every night just before it starts, we all take off our hats
and the announcer with the wind behind him
says a prayer over the cowboys and the land
and the bulls and reminds us to keep faith
that someday this country will be here for you
I never believed in it, but I believe in the goodness of its people.

One day you will wake up and need to have faith In the rope holding onto
For the husband
For the beauty

And I never doubted our love
And then just like that one day god walked into the empty kitchen And made himself known
Molded the peppers
Let in the fruit flies.
I want to tell you
I wish I understood what went wrong
but there was no mistress
or a hidden bank account
Just that one day the hoofs hit the ground
Bones kicked to powder
by the insane wild horses.
And before I knew it we were talking the week apart.

America, I miss you can I come home now,
Daughter to no one, table for one
At a party with field cops and people who know him
His friends, not mine
And I feel like I’m being watched for my deception
by sweet brown eyes of women that might have loved him also.

I feel sick and can I come home now?
Mother to no one, 4x4 or one.
America, you’ve treated me badly, I’m resentful As I’m the one dancing on the table.

Whispering sweet American dreams
Into the ears of men that needed to hear it
America, I was meant to be the other woman
Or so I’m told
Because like light
when men have me
I burn so bright they can’t hold on.
A swan plucked clean stone.
America, who am I to need you when I’ve needed so much, asked for so much? And what I’ve been given, I’m not sure yet,
and I may never know what drives me
For now, what I do know
is I don’t deserve you
Not at your best a eucalyptus tree for halcyon skies
the amber grain you left on your table
Not for loving me in the way you want to.

This country has pushed me away
But I can’t sleep without you
Because no one has ever really held me like you Not quite tightly, but certainly, I feel your body Smoking next to me
Singing Kentucky blues
And I love that you love the rock quarry like me White in the distance
Like the glow of neon at the station of route 88 Where we return to
And I love that we have that in common
You might never understand me
Or why I hung the American flag in our room

America, I will never understand you either Because I’m desperate to
But for that reason, let me love you
Let me hold you, not just for vacation

I adore you
And forever
I’m a good wife to his country
And you know that
The way I do my hair for you
How I dress for you
And sometimes for the other men too. The other part of me that desires

To see the goodness left in this country
America, I left a large piece of myself to love you So just love me by doing nothing
And let me ramble from side to side
To shake the country line
And everything we think we stand for
I’m yours if you’ll have me
But regardless, you’re mine